The Intrusive Baby
by Angel-Castiel
Summary: What will happen to John and Sherlock's relationship with a baby suddenly thrown in the mix? John/Sherlock, M from Chapter 2
1. Chapter 1

My first attempt at any FanFiction so sorry if it poorly written but you gotta start somewhere right. No sexy times in this chapter but there will be sort of in the next.

I unfortunately don't own the characters Conan Doyle, Gatiss and Moffat do

Sherlock attacked the stairs to his flat at Baker Street in his usual 'there isn't enough time in the world' fashion. Opening the door with such gusto it ricocheted off the wall behind it.

"What is that?"

"It's called a baby Sherlock and would you stop making so much noise I'm trying to get her off to sleep." John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

John was sat in his normal armchair in his black and white jumper, what he was wearing the first time he and Sherlock had kissed exactly a month ago. Opposite him was a baby dressed in a pink frock with more frills than was necessary strapped into an infant car seat implying John had no idea what to do with her.

He's been up for 32 hours, 17 minutes and 23 seconds noted Sherlock, though he thought that if he pointed this out it would earn him more sniping from John.

"Yes John, as a consulting detective I worked that out from the odour that thing is poisoning the whole building with before I entered. I just wish to know why you thought it appropriate to put it in my armchair or even keep it in the flat."

"That 'Thing' has a name. It's Zara and it's Harry's child. She came here smashed off her head saying something about adopting a kid not being for her and ran off. Well staggered. What did you expect me to do with her Sherlock? And anyway whoever thought it was a good idea to entrust my sister and that 'Sarah' women with a child deserves to be put in prison for child endangerment."

"It can't stay here John it will distract me from my work and anyway this is hardly a safe environment. And for God's sake do something about that smell."

"I can't. I haven't got any nappies since Harry neglected to bring more than 5. Or enough baby milk for that matter. You couldn't go to the shops could you; I'm not in the mood for a fight with a self service checkout."

Sherlock stormed out of the living room into his bedroom, reappearing seconds later armed with scissors, an old towel, wipes and safety pins. He then walked over to Zara who was sat gurgling in her car seat on Sherlock's chair.

John was immediately stunned into silence. Just when he thought Sherlock couldn't astound him anymore, John found himself making at the makeshift nappy being created by those pale impossibly long fingers.

When speech finally returned to him John asked "How the hell can you not know that the earth goes round the sun but know how to make a nappy the old fashioned way? I can hardly imagine that that snippet of information will ever be needed for a case."

"Actually John I had a case 3 years ago in which a group of Frenchmen smuggled poison into airports by placing it in the folds of the material in a nappy like this. The poison was made airborne when the child urinated..."

"Ok Sherlock it's useful, you don't need to tell me anymore." John shifted uncomfortably. How can he talk about babies who undoubtedly died in such a terribly way and make it sounds normal yet he always manages to be so attentive and loving to me, John thought making a mental note to experiment Sherlock's emotional range.

Sherlock held Zara underneath her arms as far away from him as possibly as if she had some deadly disease despite the fact that he had been changing her nappy a minute ago. He plonked her on John's lap and moved into the kitchen, opening all of the cupboards in an attempt to find the mugs.

"They're in the top right cupboard and don't you dare try to make tea since the last time you tried to modify the kettle so it could heat more water and ended up blowing it up and propelling boiling hot water everywhere. 2 inches from where I was standing Sherlock. 2 inches"

"Killjoy" muttered Sherlock. He had suffered too after that had happened since Mrs Hudson had refuse point blankly to letting them use hers in a failed attempt to establish that she was just their landlady and John had selfishly been too I'll to go out and buy another one.

He moved back into the living room, throwing himself onto the sofa with his hands steepled in their prayer position. There was a knock at the door to which he simply said 'Jooooohn" keeping his eyes closed.

John sighed and put Zara back into her chair. As he had expected it was Mike at the door with a fold up cot, toys, nappies and a box of baby milk powder.

"Thought you might need this too, you don't want the little mite to starve." Mike held aloft the pink box of milk powder and stepped into the flat after John beckoned him in.

"Thank you so much Mike you're a life saver. Harry just abandoned her in the apartment with nothing but the set of clothes she was wearing, her car seat and travel bag. She looks like she's only 11 months old" John said over his shoulder as he went over to the kettle to make tea.

"No tea for me thanks" Mike glanced at his watch "promised the wife I would pick up the kids from school even though it's suppost to be my day off. And all this stuff was no bother; Graham is way too old for it anyway."

John walked back over to Mike and took the stuff off him only to dump it on the floor since all the tables were covered in a range of experiments such as severed fingers to test which substances cause them to rot fastest, tomato or BBQ sauce.

"Anyway good to see that this one hasn't scared you off like he did with so many other flat mates," Mike pointed at Sherlock who had either been ignoring him or too deep in thought to register another human beings presence. Knowing Sherlock it will be the former thought John. "Bye then, we ought to go out for drinks the three of us and my wife."

John promised he would although he was sure he saw Sherlock's left eyebrow twitch as if to say 'really John? Do you want me to waste my time in a pub having idle chit chat?' and followed Mike down the stairs to show him out of the building.

"You know Sherlock you could as least say hello when we have guests, we don't exactly have many and he was doing me a favour because..."  
>John was cut off because Sherlock had pinned him against the wall as soon as he walked back into the flat and was attacking John's lips as if it was his last day on earth. John reciprocated with as much force as Sherlock as his body had been aching because of their time apart.<p>

"John, I have been on a case for the past 5 days." Sherlock panted when he finally broke the kiss. "Not having you there nearly killed me and now I am so randy it hurts."


	2. Chapter 2

At those words John moaned instinctively causing everything else in his mind to disappear completely as his world was flooded with pure Sherlock. Their lips crashed together with John still being held against the wall and their tongues fought for dominance; a battle which John always seemed to lose though he would be lying if he said it bothered him.

Both men felt the familiar restrictedness of jeans and fitted suit trousers. Feeling John's hardness against his thigh, Sherlock lowered his right hand from where it was griping the back of John's crew cut and forcefully rubbed between his thighs.

As Sherlock had guessed, John's closed eyes rolled backwards into his head as his mouth erupted with a soft moan "Sherlooooooock more". He stopped rubbing and began undoing John's belt whilst still bruisingly kissing as John's hands around his waist began to tighten.

The belt clanged on the floor and Sherlock's hand moved to open John's fly when they both heard a soft thud. John's eyes instantly flew open and he pushed Sherlock away from him seeing that Zara had somehow removed her shoe, propelling it onto the coffee table.

"God Sherlock there's a damn baby in the flat"

"you didn't seem to mind until 3 seconds ago" Sherlock looked down at the obvious tenting in John's jeans.

"Well it's a natural reaction and I swear you hypnotise me every time we kiss. It's not appropriate to be doing that stuff in front of an infant, it can leave them mentally scarred"

"I very much doubt that John since it will hardly remember..."

"She" 

"She will hardly remember and there is little evidence that she will grow up scarred." Sherlock moved towards John, who was now standing next to his chair, only to have him take an equal step back.

Seeing the momentary? Flash of pain in Sherlock's eyes before they went back to their usual grey, devoid of emotion John quickly said "I'm not rejecting you Sherlock I am simply saying not now. I have a responsibility to this child and she needs feeding."

John moved into the kitchen to switch on the kettle only to be followed by Sherlock who wrapped his arms around John's waist whispering "I want you in my bed naked and sweating, staring up at me whilst I pound into you until all you know is me"

Sherlock knew that his voice was rolling through John, making his body hum so he continued after nibbling carefully on his earlobe. "I'm going to ride you out till every last drop of cum has left your body, for me and always just for me, and then I am going to..."

Although his body was screaming 'NO!' John unravelled Sherlock's arms and moved away from the erection that was pressed against his hip to set about sterilising the bottles.

Never one to admit defeat, Sherlock ran countless theories through his head as to how to get John to sleep with him. He decided that if John wouldn't succumb to his advances then he would have to get John to come to him. And then because of him. This thought caused the left side of his mouth to twitch upwards gaining him a raised eyebrow from John who was trying to work out his next plot to get him to drop his pants.

oOo

Sherlock got a shower as John fed Zara, whose erection had thankfully faltered with the prospect of feeding a baby which would undoubtedly throw up all over him soon.

The bathroom door opened and a still wet Sherlock strode out of it wearing the smallest of hand towels loosely around his waist. The world for John seemed to slow down like in those cheesy American chic-flicks as Sherlock shook his drenched hair propelling droplets into the kitchen and then ran his hands through it with his mouth slightly ajar. This showed off all of his glistening, softly-toned chest muscles instantly drawing in John's eyes refusing to let him turn away despite John's best efforts. Admittedly though he wasn't trying very hard and as he watched a bead of water roll down Sherlock's chest just inches away from the rim of the towel, John couldn't remember why he wasn't straddling the taller man in the first place. 

He was abruptly reminded by the baby throwing up on both his jumper and jeans. "Fuck!" John jumped up and ran to the kitchen with Zara, who was now giggling, on his hip to mop himself up with kitchen roll.

"So it's ok to swear in front of an infant but not kiss?" Sherlock's eyebrows rose, stumped as he always was by social normalities. 

"It's not ok but it slipped out. And yes we can kiss in front on Zara but kissing wasn't just what you were planning" 

oOo

"John. John. She's asleep. Get up off the sofa."

John awoke from where he was sprawled against his right arm with Sherlock dragging him off the sofa and was pulled into a passionate kiss. Sherlock's tongue invaded his mouth exploring whilst John took control in leading him the nearest bedroom. John's hands quickly moved to unbutton Sherlock's shirt, only stopping to remove his jumper.

When shirtless, Sherlock pushed John onto the bed and laid on top on him without breaking the kiss. Both moved their hands to scrabble with belts till both were naked on the bed.

Sherlock moved slightly down to pepper John's chest with kisses speaking a few works between each "John you're going to have to be careful. No matter how amazing this sex is going to be you have to be quiet. I didn't stop being celibate after all those years to go back now..."

"Sherlock shut up." John flipped him on to his back and started kissing and gently biting Sherlock's nipples, causing him to catch a moan before it escaped his lips.

Sherlock rolled over to be back on top "Not tonight, I need to be inside you." and reached down for the lube in the bottom drawer. Moving a pillow under John's hips, he coated his fingers in it and gently pushed a finger into his opening. Sherlock kissed him before he could make a noise and inserted another finger as John lightly grazed his finger nails down his back. 

He removed his fingers and pushed into John causing him to throw his head back against the pillow and bite his lip.

Zara chose that moment to wail and Sherlock collapsed in defeat before moving off John so he could go to Zara wearing Sherlock's battered dressing gown. Sherlock, lying alone naked on his bed, knew he had to get rid of that baby.


	3. Chapter 3

Wow I didn't expect this to be so long but I got a big carried away. Who needs sleep anyways.

oOo

"Johnnnnnn..."

"Sherlock I have told you a million times, Zara is going to be here for a few more days. She is under no circumstances going back to Harry and it would be unfair to give her to Mrs. Hudson since she puts up with so much crap from us already. I have rang social services and they said they will sort out a foster family for her to go to but it will be a couple of days before that will happen and she is safe enough here for now so you are stuck with her. Anyway it's not as if you have to take care of her anyway since I have taken more days off from the clinic so why don't you call Lestrade again and see if he has a case."

John was sat in his usual armchair feeding Zara who was laid in his arms, innocent and oblivious to the venomous looks Sherlock kept throwing her way. In the last hour Sherlock had been incessantly typing at 100 wpm a 'strongly worded' letter to social services, featuring various threats from knowing about affairs from pictures on their website to informing them on his influences he had in the government which could make life and work much harder for them if they didn't take Zara of their hands that day. John saw this and quickly distracted Sherlock with a kiss whilst he shut off his laptop. Sherlock took advantage of this and had John's jumper off before he remembered he was supposed to be changing Zara's nappy. Damn hypnotism.

Unlike the day before, Zara was constantly crying, which John put down to Sherlock's mere presence and the fact that Sherlock seemed to be able to make a racket no matter what he was doing. The bags below John's eyes were deeper than they had ever been, including from the sleepless nights in his army days and for once Sherlock felt guilty and ashamed that he could do nothing to help lift John's burden as he would probably try to slip the baby chloroform. Again.

John's phone chimed. "Sherlock, why have I got a text from Sarah asking why she is getting a child?"

Sherlock still winced at her name. She had wasted precious Sherlock/John time and even though he had said he was married to his work as he was scared of entering a relationship, he had always wished that John would reassure him that they could make it work and utter the infamous 'kiss me you fool'. He had a familiar warm feeling in his lower stomach as he remembered their first kiss.

oOo

John had been single for a week having broken up with Sarah due to mutual agreement that it was going nowhere. However John had still been moping around the flat and off work, taking his holiday time so he could avoid her for as long as possible. Sherlock, being brilliant as always, took it upon himself to cheer him up as every website had told him it was his duty as best friend and he couldn't stand watching John in that state.

As this was Sherlock, operation get John back to his usual chirpy, constantly annoyed at something he had done self didn't go as smoothly as he had hoped.

He remembered thinking what does John love most? Tea and jumpers. Perfect. Sherlock would knit him a jumper with a mug of steaming tea on the front.

He told John he had an urgent case and felt slightly sorry when he had to tell him he couldn't come and help, and checked into the closest hotel armed with various colours of wool and knitting needles.

Three days later he was barging into the flat, finding John slumped on the sofa watching some documentary about disappearing bees. He gave a start when he saw Sherlock who was holding aloft a carrier bag.

"Here John, I made you the perfect gift to make you feel better."

John took that bag and removed Sherlock's creation. The jumper was mainly beige with what looked like a blob with jaunty angles that was either steaming or falling to the ground with high speed.

"Umm. Thanks Sherlock but what is it?"

"It's a jumper with a cup of tea on the front. Admittedly it's not perfect since it was my first attempt but as you always say 'it's the thought that counts.'"

Images of Sherlock in a grey curly wig and sat on a rocking chair knitting filled John's brain and all he could do was laugh.

"I'm not laughing at the gift don't worry," John said in-between various bursts of hysterics, "it's perfect, it truly is."

John tried to pull on the jumper, forgetting that he was already wearing his stripy black and white one and causing the tea jumper to get stuck over his head and up to his elbow on his right arm.

"I think I'm stuck. Can you..."

Sherlock moved over and tried to prise John's arm out of the beige lump of fabric. They struggled for two minutes with John still giggling and he was finally pulled free by Sherlock with such gusto he lost his footing.

This resulted in Sherlock falling onto john and knocking him to the floor where they laid laughing at the stupidity of the whole situation. The laugher stopped and they stared at each other as if they had always looked but never truly saw. John noticed how Sherlock's eyes sparkled whenever he smiled and wished that he could forever be the one that caused it. Sherlock noticed how perfectly John fitted under him and never wanted to let him go.

They both instantly saw that they wanted each other.

John always said that Sherlock instigated the kiss whilst Sherlock would argue the opposite. The truth was they both leant towards each other, John putting his hand behind Sherlock's head and Sherlock's hand at John's waist and leaning on one elbow. Their lips met and John felt the unfamiliar experience of stubble faintly brushing his cheek and nostrils being invaded by expensive aftershave, shampoo and something he can only describe as Sherlock. Surprisingly John had found he never wanted this to end.

John had never considered the possibility that he might be gay or at least bi (he later put this down to the pressure of being the 'strait' child after his sister had come out to their parents) but found he no longer cared about who he thought he was as all that mattered was Sherlock and how much he wanted and needed him.

Whatever Mycroft had told people was a lie. Sherlock had kissed people in the past although purely for research on a case in which he needed to find the perfect way to transfer poison through a kiss without the murderer himself dying. Those experiences however were nothing compared to kissing John. Although He had dreamed about doing this many a times (he could stop his conscious mind from thinking about John in that way but however amazing Sherlock was he couldn't find a way without drugs to stop his dreams) John brought out feelings in Sherlock he had thought unnecessary to his 'transport' and that the idiots of the world were blindly letting them lead their lives.

At that point Sherlock though he would happily go and do whatever John told him to as his body shuddered at the prospect of being able to claim John's mouth, which he had previously categorised as being taboo as he thought of John Watson as being straighter than strait and even if he wasn't why would anyone want to be with a man like Sherlock Holmes.

John felt this shudder and pulled Sherlock down closer to his body, needing as much of this man as he could get. The resulting pressure caused the remaining flat hairs on the back of his neck to stand up, every sense in John's body going wild as he soaked up every aspect of Sherlockness around him.

And then it was gone as Sherlock stood up. John was disappointed for only a millisecond as he was pulled up and his other jumper removed before pushing Sherlock up against the wall, the height difference proving to be less difficult than he had thought. However the feeling of control wasn't given enough time to process as Sherlock started to pull him towards his bedroom.

They moved through the kitchen and John stopped just before entering Sherlock's room. "I've never done..."

"I know. I promise I will go slow. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course I am. I want you. I need you."

Their lips crashed together as they entered Sherlock's bedroom. It was unusually tidy compared to the stuff he left around the flat in a manner that made no sense to John, as Sherlock had always said his mind was categorised like an attic. The window had no curtains so the moonlight was flooding the room making the scene somehow even more perfect.

John began to unbutton Sherlock's shirt causing a shiver to run down his spine as his fingers lightly brushed his chest. He drank in the image of the half naked man, admiring his softly toned stomach and imagined he could see his heart thundering in Sherlock's chest just as it was in his. Sherlock smirked at the admiring looks John was giving and quickly moved to his shirt whilst running his tongue along the inside of his lower lip.

Any reservations John had had left him as Sherlock began to undo his belt and he realised that he needed them both naked as soon as possible before this dream was over. He undid Sherlock's trousers and squeezed his arse, exciting a moan from his lips. Sherlock guided them onto his bed, holding John's hands on either side of his head.

The sight of John underneath him again sent his stomach doing back flips and he finally felt like he belonged. Like he had some worth other than his analytical mind. These thoughts were alien to him as he always felt like they made people weak giving them something to be exploited and taken advantage of. At that moment Sherlock wouldn't swap it for the finest lab equipment in the world.

"Ready?"

John nodded and Sherlock let go of his right hand to reach down for the bottle of lubricant in his drawer. John removed both of their boxers and lay wary yet excited for this new experience

"It might be easier this time if you turn over." John did as he was instructed and Sherlock guided his hips up until he was on his knees and resting on his forearms. Sherlock lent over to kiss his neck, his tongue lapping and mouth sucking in a way that would mark John as his, at least for a few days.

As John started to moan Sherlock coated his fingers in the lubricant and, still kissing, inserted one into him. John gasped at the sudden unfamiliar pain which became pleasure as Sherlock's long, slender finger moved inside him. The pain returned as another finger was added but was gone as quickly as it came as the fingers brushed his prostate. A long throaty moan of "Shhhhhherlock" erupted from his lips and the fingers were removed.

Sherlock stopped kissing John as he knelt up to speed lube on his completely hard length, and holding the top of John's thighs stated to push into him. The tightness and friction nearly overwhelmed him and he had to stop himself from driving into John as hard as he could, this after all needed to be perfect.

John clenched the sheets as Sherlock entered him inch by inch. He slowly began to pull back and thrust back in, moaning at the sensation of pleasure blasting from his groin. John could see the precum leaking from his penis as Sherlock hit his prostate again. "oh Sherlock, yes. Right there, uhhhhh."

Sherlock reached around and began to stroke John in time with his quickening thrusts, his hand quickly moist but still causing John to groan louder at the mix of pleasure racing through his whole body.

"You're perfect, so tight, uhhh. You're mine."

Sherlock came and after a few more rough strokes and thumbing over the tip, so did John. They both collapsed on the bed spent.

As John tucked himself under Sherlock's arm to rest on his chest, haunting thoughts flooded his mind. What if Sherlock thought I was using him on the rebound? I have only been single a week and I have already slept with someone else. How can someone as amazing as Sherlock like an army doctor who was stupid enough to have a psychosomatic limp? What is Sherlock expecting? I thought he was married to his work? Is this a one-time thing? Do I need to start looking for a new flat?

Sherlock's mind was simultaneously giving him similar thoughts although at a much faster speed. Am I John's rebound? Does John think I am taking advantage of him? He has only been single a week and 3 days. How can John like ME in this way? What is he expecting? Is this a one-time thing? Do I need to start looking for a new flat?

They both started "Sherlock I..." "John I..."

"John I don't know what you are expecting because contrary to your belief, I cannot read minds and I struggle with finding reasons for human emotion. I don't want this to be a one-time thing but if you do I am happy to back off because I need you in my life in some way. However if you want this to last then you need to know that I have never been in a relationship with someone I actually like before so have no idea what you expect of me apart from what I have read in teen magazines. Work will always come first. I am sorry John but that will never change. I need to work. Without it I am not me and Sherlock Holmes dies. And John..."

"Sherlock. I don't expect you to change who you are and yes I want this to be more than a one-time thing too. I know that work will always come first but I want you to know that I will always be here waiting for you. And as for..."

It was John's turn to be cut off now as Sherlock slid slightly down the bed to pull him into a bruising kiss, leaving John lightheaded as he finally pulled away because tiredness was getting the better of him.

As they both drifted off to sleep, they knew that everything was going to work out fine.

oOo

That was until that bitch John had for a sister had decided to ruin his John time by giving him a sprog to look after.

"Hey Sherlock don't ignore me. You can't go around giving out babies to people just because they inconvenience you."

"I wanted to take away some of her leisure time as repayment for the time with you she stole from me."

"She didn't steal it off you we were dating. And since I asked her out, I technically stole it off you so this is my punishment for not realizing I was crazy about you sooner."

"I can think of a more appropriate punishment. Do you remember that new riding crop I bought last week? You can tell me how crazy about me you are then when you are wearing spreader bars and are begging me to touch you."

John's heart began to beat faster as he thought about the prospect of being totally submissive to Sherlock, showing the ultimate trust and sheer lust towards his lover who is in constant control of pain/pleasure boundaries. Hearing Zara begin to scream again after 20 seconds of blissful silence, John went over to feed her. "Yes and our safe word can be 'Zara'"

"You have to ruin everything with that baby don't you John?"

"Well unlike you I have a conscience and I am not comfortable with just giving her away to anyone or letting her out of my sight for too long at the moment she has been through enough trauma already. A few days Sherlock and she will be with a family that will hopefully love and cherish her but until then you need to shut up about your libido and do something useful like buying her a toy to try and keep her occupied."

"You know she won't remember you and all this 'kindness' you are giving to her."

"Yes Sherlock it's called being selfless but I guess being a sociopath you don't understand why on Earth I would bother."

"No John it is completely selfish. You are taking care of her because you want to feel good about yourself and look like the hero in comparison to Harry. It is classic sibling rivalry."

John picked up Zara and her dummy and went up to his old room for the first time in a month.

That baby is the devil thought Sherlock.


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't realise how many typos were in my last chapter but I guess it serves me right for writing it up on my iPad at 3 in the morning and not reading it through. Stupid autocorrect.

Thanks to everyone who alerted this story and who commented :-D

And thanks to Willz and Kate for giving me the day off work so I could write this. I am sure they will be happy that it is being put to such a great use

oOo

(John's POV)

I slammed the door of my old room. Me selfish? I don't know how he dares. Everything I have ever done was for that man, I even killed when I had only known him a day. The minute something else has taken my attention, I am in the wrong. He is the selfish one, always was. I thought that when we started being lovers that he might realise that other people are important too and take my feelings into consideration.

I'm not selfish. I pride myself on being a caring and a genuinely nice human being. There has never been an ulterior motive I just empathise with people and try to do the right thing.

Zara is finally sleeping so I place her in the centre of my bed. Should I go see him or wait for him to come to me with his tail between his legs? I mentally scoff when I realise how totally out of character it would be and how I would have to call Lestrade to find out if Sherlock has been kidnapped and replaced with a clone.

Maybe I am expecting too much from him. He did for so long think of himself as a sociopath as incapable of any emotion never mind having feelings for another man. He hardly takes care of himself with never eating or sleeping. I need to get him to think about what the things he says means in the real world. Not just with me but the people he works for.

Baby steps John baby steps. The day Sherlock thinks before he speaks will be the day that Harry will become the leader in an AA group.

I think I should go downstairs. But will that make me look weak, like I cant even hold a grudge with him for more than a minute? God who am I? Whatever happened to brave soldier John who knew the answer to everything?

oOo

(Sherlock's POV)

Damn him!

No. Not John. Not my John. AMAZING John.

Damn her with her adorable curls and angelic face, drawing John in.

He would be the best father ever, my John. He never puts himself first and always knows what to do, how to make everything better. It's me. I'm flawed. I find it difficult to perceive what John wants emotionally never mind a baby who doesn't know herself.

I sit down steepling my fingers. Why is life so complicated? It needs to be back the way it was, John and I against the world. Maybe I should go upstairs and talk to him. Although surely he went to his old room to avoid me. I knew this would happen. He has gone off me already. He has finally seen what a heartless 'freak' I am; I can't believe an intelligent man like John took a year to find out.

Wait Sherlock think. Maybe he needs to cool off or this is a test to see if I will go upstairs to apologise. Urrr apologise. The word leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I haven't even said it. I never apologise because that implies that I am wrong, which I never am. It's not my fault that John has decided to play mother to an infant.

But that look on John's face before he walked away killed a part of me. I felt like I should have wrapped my arms around him and take it all back. John is not selfish and nothing he ever does can be trivialised to sibling rivelry. All he wants to do is make people happy and feel valued; he is a doctor after all.

I think I should go up...

oOo

(John's POV)

I rest my hand on the door handle. What would he do if I demanded an apology? Probably? say something along the lines of 'I never apologise because that implies that I am wrong, which I never am.'

Screw it I'm going downstairs. I start making my way slowly down and am nearly knocked off my feet when Sherlock hits the stairs.

"I am so sorry John. I have never had someone I care about before so I am not used to holding my tongue. You mean so much to me that I don't know how to express it so you understand how important you are. She... She is taking you from me. The great Sherlock Holmes will not be kept from seeing his John by an infant or anyone else in the world."

That stupid man. Does he think that I will let a baby stop our relationship? I lift up his chin to pull him into a kiss, our heads level as I am on a higher step. Maybe this will bring him out of his stupid jealously.

"Sherlock, I love you. That is never going to change." I feel him tense in my arms and wonder if I am going to far by saying those words for the first time. I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding when he smiles brilliantly, his blue eyes glimmering which sends my heart thundering in my chest.

"John I think I love you too. I cannot give you a promise that I do as I am unsure what love is other than chemicals in the brain. All I know is that without you my life would be over." it was his turn to claim my mouth, with a possessive needy kiss leaving me breathless in seconds

After a year/a minute we separated and I took in Sherlock's appearance. His curls were somehow even wilder than usual and three of the buttons on his purple silk shirt unbuttoned instead of his usual two. Sherlock would be pleased, his observing skills are rubbing off on me although I haven't I clue what it means.

"It means that I was running my hands through my hair because I was fretting about how to stop you being annoyed and I swear it's getting hot in here. You should tell Mrs Hudson tomorrow that the heating is broken." At the mention of the word hot he started to unfasten the rest of his buttons, looking up at me through his long eyelashes in a way that he knows makes him impossibly even more irresistible.

"If it's broken then it's your fault. You always think you can make things better when in actual fact you end up blowing fuses or the whole flat." Sherlock's hands move to my jumper now and I lift up my arms to aid him.

"I know you love it when an experiment of mine doesn't go exactly to plan. You think it's proof of my humanity. Although... It is a lot more fun the just do this."

Sherlock grabbed behind both of my thighs, pulling till my legs gave way and swung them over his hips. My hands flew to behind his neck and in his hair to keep balance as he walked down the remaining steps and shoved me into a wall. I would have been winded had he not took the impact with the back of his hands as he started to kiss and suck at the pulse points on my neck. I moaned loudly and was rewarded with Sherlock stopping the wondrous sensations I had never thought possible.

"No John. 'IT' is not going to ruin my time with you again. I want you so bad my whole body explodes whenever I can just smell you." as if to prove his point he put his nose against my cheek and inhailed deeply. He tipped his head back and I watched his eyes role back into his skull, a ghost of a moan on the tip of his tongue.

This little show had the desired effect as I felt my trapped erection press against Sherlock's stomach. That was I first. I'm not short per say but next to Sherlock everyone is.

Seeing this he pushed his hips forward hard and rolled up against me until our caged erections met. Is he trying to kill me with anticipation? It is usually him who is begging for release but now I would happily get on my knees and... Well push him to his knees and have him suck me off right here in the kitchen. I move my hand off his neck and grab his crotch, slowly squeezing.

"Oh John." I hardly heard this because he was whispering hoarsely into my shoulder. Sherlock started kissing the base of my neck as if to escape the fact that he broke his own rule of silence.

I cup his cheek and bring his head up into a kiss, needing to be inside some part of him. Our tongues danced together, our mouths the perfect fit as if crafted for each other.

And then as Sherlock had feared, Zara ruined the moment.

"Shit, Sherlock let me down. I can't leave Zara on my bed she could fall off. She needs to be in her cot."

At the mention of her name he instantly let go of me causing me to fall to my feel and stumble slightly. I move towards the stairs.

"There is more chance of her suffocating in the cot than there is of her falling off your bed on her sleep. John if you go up there I swear I'll..."

"You'll what Sherlock? I am sure whatever it is won't be worse than having a dead baby on my conscience." I storm up the stairs leaving him to glower at the back of my head. It's not my fault if he wants to act like a spoilt child.

oOo

(Sherlock's POV)

Fuck!

I see John's favourite mug resting on the kitchen table and hurtle it at the living room wall where it instantly smashed and ricocheted in all directions.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry about switching to 1st person but it was easier to write down what they were thinking.

oOo

The flat rang with the sound of the smashing mug and was then filled with a silence that somehow amplified the sound of John's watch on the other side of his room. I have never seen or heard Sherlock loose control like that before, thought John, I can't take Zara downstairs to her cot now and leave her near him in this state.

In the living room Sherlock can't believe what he did. He has never lost control and broken something (well not out of anger though many times out of boredom). What will John think of him? That he is capable of all human emotions? I can't let a stupid baby make John hate me minutes after he told me he loved me.

"John." No reply. "John I need to talk to you." Still no answer.

He can't have gone I would have seen him thought Sherlock but flashes of what Moriarty could have done to his John in the little time he was upstairs caused him to pelt up the stairs. He could hear breathing from behind the doors and recognised it as John's from everything he had stored about his lover in his brain. Gingerly, Sherlock reached for the door handle.

"John?"

John was sat cross legged facing away from the door, resting his head on his arms which were resting on the end to the bed.

Not moving John asked "What did you break?"

"Your mug with the rugby red rose on it. I know it was your favourite so I will buy you another."

"It doesn't matter it was only a mug." John let out a sigh. It was not unnatural for John to sigh about something Sherlock had done, far from it but this sigh to Sherlock sounded like he had given up and was finally tired of behaviour. "Have you finished breaking things?"

Things? At a hundred miles per hour Sherlock's brain flooded with 'things? Plural. Have I broken John's heart too? What have I done but got angry about Zara and smash a mug? But maybe it doesn't have another meaning. What am I thinking of course it does, people never get straight to the point.

"Yes John. Do you want me to leave?"

"I think you could use some cool off time so yes."

"Fine. I will send Mycroft to pick up my possessions tomorrow."

"What?" John finally turned around and saw Sherlock looking completely drained and somehow paler than usual. He then realised what he had agreed to. "No Sherlock I don't want you to leave me I meant my room. I'm still angry with you, you've never threatened me before."

Again Sherlock was analysing every word John said. My room. No this is the spare room now. I can't sleep without knowing he is there beside me safe.

"I'm so sorry John. I... I... I can't handle sharing you and not being able to gain your full attention because I am in love with you and I don't feel whole when your not by my side. It's bad enough when you are at work. Look what you've done to me John; I can't lose you as my partner."

John knew that if Anderson was there he would have some comment about John not sticking to his guns and forgiving Sherlock like a good little lapdog but he didn't care. That was the most Sherlock had talked about his feelings which, he could tell by looking at his blue-grey eyes flooded with emotion, were the whole truth and not something he felt he had to say.

John got up and pulled Sherlock's head down into a kiss. He felt him reciprocate and Sherlock ran his tongue along John's lower lip to be rewarded entry. After a minute of passionate exploring of mouths Sherlock regretfully broke the kiss, knowing that this was not the moment to get hard but to show John he means more than sex.

He picked up Zara, who was still sleeping on John's bed, and took her downstairs to her cot. John had followed Sherlock dumfounded that he had actually touched her when he could barely even glance towards her. They entered their bedroom and changed into night wear, Sherlock in blue stripes and John in an old t-shirt and bottoms. They slept with limbs entwined as equals, Sherlock resting his head on John's shoulder knowing that everything will be alright. Well at least until he had to deal with the 'Zara problem'.


	6. Chapter 6

Sherlock woke first as always and knew that today had to be about making John happy. Not that he didn't always want make him happy but today it was crucial that he proved his love and respect for John after his outbursts over Zara. He had known people break up over less, even kill and Sherlock wanted his life with his man to be as long as his transport will physically let him.

Breakfast right, Sherlock thought, apparently the most important meal to the idiots of the world but I do fine without. He quietly got dressed into his usual expensive suit trousers and a blue shirt with rolled up sleaves and walked into the kitchen. Making John tea in the morning was a given so Sherlock decided the best way to impress him was with his favourite scrambled egg on toast. That was if all the eggs hadn't been cracked open and had the skin of different animals placed inside the white to see which is preserved better after a month so he could tell Lestrade whether It was the butcher or the dog breeder who was the killer.

You would think that toast was simple enough: place in toaster, push down lever, wait a minute for it to pop up, remove, butter, eat. but not to Sherlock. Not to amazing world class consultive detective Sherlock 'life skills have no room in my head' Holmes who decided that to achieve maximum butter meltyness, to butter the bread and then put it in the toaster. Thankfully John had replaced the batteries in the smoke detector after mr 'I know best' had removed them for an experiment so quickly came running with a fire extinguisher (they had one in every room just in case). Inevitably Zara started crying and Sherlock swore under his breath knowing that his good deed ended up making his plan to kiss John senseless impossible.

Hoping he could still score some brownie points (well whatever the equivalent was in Sherlock's head as he has no idea what a brownie is or why he needed their points) Sherlock began to make baby milk, the first time he had ever followed instructions word for word. Also the first time he had ever made any sort of food for anyone else that was actually edible.

After making a mental note to email the sma company about ways to produce a higher amount of milk powder and that the manager of the factory was taking heroin whilst at work, he took a clean nappy to John, who had gone upstairs to find her dummy, while the milk cooled.

Sherlock stood in to doorway watching John who was sat leaning against the headboard of his bed as Zara sat laughing on his lap as they played peekaboo. The sound made Sherlock feel oddly warm inside as the person he loved more than anything was causing this sound from Zara who was somehow bearable as she was no longer crying. He put this down to the fact that he had accepted his love and yearning towards John so parent like feelings were sure to try and break through but no way was he going to let down the flood gates.

That's better, thought Sherlock, think about how badly you need to get her out of our flat and not how adorable Zara is right now and how she is somehow making us feel like a family.

"I brought you a clean nappy and made a bottle for Zara."

John jumped having not notice Sherlock was standing there. I guess his observational skills aren't rubbing off on me he thought. He then took a double take as he realised what Sherlock had just said. Making breakfast and now this? As attentive as he was to John, Sherlock had never been tuned to 'normal' people's needs as he was right now.

"Thanks Sherlock. I have already changed her but she needs feeding."

John followed Sherlock downstairs, placed Zara in her travel seat and started to inspect the bottle.

"Don't worry John, I haven't added anything you would class as abnormal. I followed the steps word for word as you have always told me."

Narrowing his eyes as if to try and see through the words that he had never heard from Sherlock before, John shook some of the milk onto the back of his hand and licked it off. It somehow tasted exactly as it should so he went over to Zara and sat on the sofa with her on his lap.

"Umm... Sherlock. Would you like to feed her?"

John had no idea what possessed him to ask and fully expected him to to refuse. Sherlock though thought it was a perfect opportunity to show John that he could be good enough for what he deserved.

"Sure."

Sherlock took Zara from John and sat next to him, mimicking his position.

"Make sure you are always supporting her head and you need to burp her."

Although these words were said calmly it did not reflect what was going on in John's head. It was like the episode of Spongebob he had watched with Zara the day before where his brain had deleted his name so his numskulls searched frantically for it whilst trashing the place. John knew his name but had no idea who was sat next to him as he tried to think of any clues he had as to what was happening. Sherlock was not only touching Zara but feeding her with a smile on his face. He had made the bottle flawlessly and... is he laughing?

"Yes John it really is me. I am trying to make up for what a fool I have been these last few days. I was annoyed and I took it out on you, I am sorry."

Two sorrys in as many days, maybe he does really love me if he feels remorse. John smiled at the thought and rested his head on Sherlock's shoulder who turned slightly to kiss his forehead.

"Yes John, I really love you."

oOo

The call finally came after they had ate their tea. Well John and Zara did as Sherlock had ate a tuna sandwich 27 hours ago.

"Yes this is he... Ok... Right... That's wonderful... Yeah 10 o'clock is fine... Thank you bye."

John put his phone on the coffee table as Sherlock entered the living room.

"That was social services. They have found her a family who have two other kids so she won't be lonely. They're coming at 10 so we will be back to normal by half past."

Inside Sherlock was wooping but he could see something was upsetting John. If only he could understand how John's feelings worked.

"Are you ok?"

"Of course I am why wouldn't I be? I knew from the start that she couldn't stay here forever."

"Come here."

Sherlock pulled him into a tight embrace, stroking the back of his head. John held on stronger, no longer caring if it was stupid to be this attached to a child he had known for such a small time.


	7. Chapter 7

John heard the knock at the door to 221b Baker Street and knew it was time. He left the flat to greet the woman from social services, leaving Sherlock to watch Zara.

He knew how happy she had made John these past few days, even though he hadn't had much sleep, but still couldn't understand it. He knew that it was human instinct to start a family to pass on their name and knowledge but he had thought that John knew it was impossible when they had entered their relationship. Raising a child in 211b would never be authorised what with all of Sherlock's experiments and memorabilia he kept there which potentially endangers his life never mind an infants. There was also the fact that the flat was empty most of the time while he was on a case and John had his work. Even when not on a case Sherlock would still have his down days although less frequent now that John occupied most of his time.

So for once Sherlock thought about life from the point of someone who wasn't himself (or John of course). He knew from personal experience that having parents who were never there was damaging, look at Mycroft although I turned out fine he thought. He also knew that a having a child there, however happy it made John, posed a threat which could tear him apart if Moriarty used it against them. He painfully remembered the day at the pool he saw John stepping out strapped to Semtex and knew that if that happened to Zara, John would never be the same again.

Sherlock looked directly in her eyes and saw innocence, something that was forced out of him before he could walk, and willed that her new parents would cherish that in her. He would swear that at that exact moment dust decided to invade his eye causing more tears to be produce to fight it off, the reality being that he saw the bit of himself he never knew in Zara and that she needed to be as far away from him as possible to keep that light burning.

John returned to the flat followed by a woman in her thirties, dresses in a black knee length skirt and cheap suit jacket.

"You must be Sherlock. My name is Jodie Wilson."

They shook hands and Sherlock offered her his armchair and sat on one of wooden ones with Zara back on his lap. John on the other hand stood behind Sherlock looking at the floor.

"Well I think we had better cut to the chase so little Zara here can get to the Way's house. Mr Wat..."

"Doctor."

"Sorry doctor Watson. You need to sign these forms to say that she will no longer be in your sister's custody."

"Of course."

John grabbed the papers and signed them with, Sherlock noted, a slightly hesitant hand. He passed them back to the care worker will a guilty glance at Zara. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was abandoning her but reminded himself that a family with children to play with who had a house which didn't contain all the acids under the sun was the best place for her. He thought of how different his life would have been with a father who wasn't an alcoholic and a sister who was always there to help and support him.

"Thanks. That's all I really need. I'll take her off your hands so you can go back to your normal life with sleep."

The corner of John's mouth twitched as he picked Zara of Sherlock's lap into a hug.

"Goodbye, Zara. Live. You won't remember Harry thank God." he whispered so quietly that even Sherlock's finely tuned ears couldn't hear, though he could deduce word for word what John was likely to have said.

Mirroring John as he found he was doing a lot lately, Sherlock took Zara whispering, "We will never forget you." which John gasped at, knowing how important his brain space was to him.

Jodie stood and Sherlock fastened Zara into her carry seat and handed her over. He followed her out of the building and stopped her getting into the car after Zara was fastened in.

"I hope this family you have chosen do right by her because if not I have people in very high places that can make your job and any possible livelihood disappear."

Watching this from the window, John knew that everything was going to be alright even though he couldn't hear what Sherlock was saying. Sure he may be depressed for a few days about the prospect of Zara never remembering their short time together but he knew him and Sherlock would stay perfect.

John flung his arms around Sherlock as he returned who returned the embrace with as much gusto.

"I want you to know John that I would have your babies if I physically could. And if I didn't have as many enemies I would adopt any that you had with a surrogate."

"And I would have yours too Sherlock if OUR enemies suddenly decided to give us a break. The only way I can ever see it being possible is if you somehow find and kill Moriarty and his cronies."

Sherlock clutched his lover tighter and thought: _I will one day John, I will_.

oOo

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted and favourited this story it means so much to me. :-D

I feel bad stopping it there, will they ever be able to adopt a child?


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